About the Artful Dilettante
The Artful Dilettante is universally recognized as the world’s leading authority on politics and global finance. His advice and counsel are eagerly sought by heads of state and their advisers, religious leaders, transnational political organizations, international crime syndicates, Fortune 500 companies, Silicon Valley start-ups, the military-industrial complex, major nonprofits and charitable foundations, prominent media players, the entertainment industry, the sports industry, the academic community, intelligence agencies, the Bilderberg Group, the Davos Economic Forum, the Medellin drug cartel, leading commodities exchanges, large hedge funds, sovereign wealth trusts, movers and shakers, Hollywood supermodels and starlets, and the world banking consortium. His impact on world events is incalculable. His overstuffed Rolodexes are ample testimony to an appeal and influence that bridge national boundaries and heal ancient wounds.
He maintains strict anonymity, using numerous, ever-changing aliases and false documentation. He owns and maintains dozens of palatial, fortress-like residential compounds and safehouses around the world. He is still the only foreigner allowed complete, unchaperoned freedom of movement in North Korea. His staff, security detail, and entourage are exceeded only by that of His Holiness, the Royal Family, and Miley Cyrus. He donates 100% of his income to select charities using a complex, encrypted, money laundering operation. His kindness is matched only by his wisdom.
He was director of the DNA mapping team and a member of the 1994 U.S. Olympic bobsledding team at Lillehammer. He is an acknowledged grandmaster in chess, a concert pianist, and can speak at least twelve languages in native fluency. He is a gifted surgeon, a licensed agronomist, and a world-class figure skater. He is a paragon of virtue, wellness, and clean living. He has practiced lengthy and frequent periods of celibacy and has no known vices. He was briefly married to Charo. He has been drop-dead gorgeous since birth. He is, without question, a universal role model for our youth and all who seek inner peace and dwell in the fellowship of mankind.