In an address to Iranian citizens Ayatollah Ali Khamenei told them that “we have repelled the aggressors who treacherously tried to take our land from us. Though many of our heroic military leaders lost their lives in the conflict the nation as a whole has survived the bombings. I have successfully eluded assassination.”

“Our victory was achieved in only 12 days,” he added. “The Zionist little Satan hit us with everything they had, but was forced to retreat without accomplishing their goal of dislodging me from my post or causing our people to lose faith in the eventual triumph of Islam. The Great Satan was too frightened to do more than one tiny sortie to bomb three targets–all of which they failed to destroy. Our retaliatory strike on the US air base in Qatar was enough to convince Trump to request a ceasefire, which we mercifully granted.”

“As further punishment to our enemies, our Guardian Council has suspended all cooperation with the International Atomic Energy Agency,” Khamenei boasted. “Now we will be completely free from impediments to our nuclear armament program. Within the next year we will have tens of thousands of bombs and the missiles needed to deliver them against all who would ever dare to attack us again. Meanwhile, the brave jihadis we have infiltrated into the homeland of the Great Satan will carry out their continuing mission to win elections and implement the policies and assassinations needed to convert city-by-city and state-by-state into Islamic caliphates until all the world is for Allah.”

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio Cortez (D-NY) cited Khamenei’s speech as “proof that President Trump’s claim to have obliterated Iran’s nuclear weapons program is false. His decision to bomb Iran without prior authorization from Congress will now lead to a disastrous catastrophe for America. He has made us the aggressors and Iranian terrorists will have just cause for taking revenge on innocent men, women, and children. Only if we atone for Trump’s murderous attack on Iran by impeaching him could we hope to mitigate the horrors to come.”

John Semmens