Dems Outraged Over Kimmel Suspension [semi-satire]

On Monday, Jimmy Kimmel used his monologue to accuse MAGA of “trying to cover up the fact that the person who killed Charlie Kirk was one of them.” This was after Utah Attorney General Derek Brown had disclosed evidence that the shooter had admitted that he hated Kirk for his anti-trans views, had a trans lover, and had been planning the assassination for a week.

Andrew Alford, President of Broadcasting for Nexstar, an affilate of ABC, called Kimmel’s comments “offensive and insensitive at a critical time in our national political discourse, and we do not believe they reflect the spectrum of opinions, views, or values of the local communities in which we are located.”

Sinclair, another ABC affiliate vice chairman Jason Smith said “Mr. Kimmel’s remarks were inappropriate and deeply insensitive at a critical moment for our country. We believe broadcasters have a responsibility to educate and elevate respectful, constructive dialogue in our communities.” Both affiliates refused to broadcast Kimmel’s show. ABC then announced it was suspending the show.

Sen. Tim Kaine (D-Va) called the suspension “a betrayal of what Charlie Kirk stood for. I never met Charlie Kirk and I didn’t know him, but everybody says he was a free speech guy — including speech that you may not like. So this is what we’re going to do? I’m very pissed off.”

Sen. Peter Welch (D-Vt) called the suspension “the biggest attack on First Amendment rights that we’ve seen since the Alien and Sedition Act of 1798. This is censorship.” When Sen. James Lankford (R-Okla) reminded Welch that “President Biden sent the FBI out to intimidate social media companies into suppressing dissent over his covid policies and the truth about Hunter Biden’s laptop,” Welch insisted “folks have no right to say things that could endanger public health or national security.”

Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) blamed Trump, saying “I am just outraged by it! This is just despicable and disgusting, and against Democratic values. This is what dictators do. It proves that Trump is the Nazi we said he was. I hope voters realize this before they ever cast a ballot for a Republican again.”

FCC Chairman Brendan Carr observed that “there are only a limited number of over-the-air broadcasting licenses that can be accommodated without the signals interfering with each other. The expectation is that the holders of these licenses will serve the broader community and offer a more balanced coverage of controversial topics. Yet, it seems that the coverage is extraordinarily lopsided in favor of the extreme left wing of politics.”

Stephen Colbert, host of “The Late Show,” pointed out that “both Jimmy and I have faithfully represented the perspective of this tiny minority of the political spectrum. Yet, now it looks the 1% to 2% of the viewing audience we attracted are going to be denied their fair share of the airwaves. This is how our democracy is being destroyed.”

In related news, Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) just released documents entailing a probe of 92 Republican groups ordered by President Biden in 2022. Grassley said, “this probe improperly used taxpayer funds to turn FBI agents and DOJ prosecutors into weapons that were used to achieve partisan objectives.”

Sen. Schumer dismissed Grassley’s complaint, saying, “as President Obama so wisely reminded us, ‘elections have consequences.’ Biden won the 2020 election and consequently was entitled to rule the nation as he saw fit.”

John Semmens

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