How to Handle People who Wrong You

People often struggle with “revenge versus forgiveness”. They ask themselves (or others): “When someone has wronged me, should I get back at them? Or, instead: turn the other cheek and forgive them?” It’s a false alternative. Usually the most effective way is simply to withdraw yourself from the person’s life. Withdraw the virtue and value you once offered them. Terminate it. Totally.

That sounds cold and harsh, to some people; but it’s actually rational and just. You don’t have to worry about planning a strategy of getting back. Usually that’s not worth the effort. If you’re going to keep someone in your life by pursuing a path of getting back at them, then why don’t you just keep them in your life? And if you’re really done with them, then why not just act in a way that’s consistent with your decision … and be done with them? Withdrawing the virtue and value that you once offered the other person — in whatever context (business, friendship, romance) — is often the most powerful, reasonable and truly fair way to go. It’s the right thing to do. Stop giving unworthy people what they don’t deserve: YOU.

Michael J. Hurd, Daily Dose of Reason

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