Overthrowing Communism, Surprisingly Easy

There is a saying in some parts of the Balkans, “hiqja qimen thiut” which roughly translates to: every hair from the boar. This phrase grew in popularity, especially around the time of the collapse of the Soviet Union and fall of communism in the Eastern Bloc states. What it means is a simple metaphor – the government is the boar and it can be killed by subtly plucking every hair from its fat body.

Less poetically, it’s a guide on how to dismantle the bureaucracy that communist regimes rely on. While I don’t believe America is quite ready for this conversation, readers that frequent sites like American Thinker may not mind, as Nancy Pelosi once eloquently put it, another arrow in their quiver.

Establishment governments, such as we see beginning to dominate in the U.S., are heavily dependent on inefficient bureaucracies. A frequent theme of dystopian novels draw plots around nightmarish red tape establishments like George Orwell’s Nineteen-Eighty-Four and Franz Kafka’s The Trial – hell on earth is a non-moving DMV line. So, don’t think the bureaucrats don’t know the power they wield. And don’t think the bureaucrats don’t know it. This leaked Zoom call shows federal workers plotting a coup on Trump’s White House by using the pillars of bureaucracy against him.

While they believe this to be some sort of power, the real advantage that conservatives continue to have over our progressive opponents is that we are truly decentralized. Efforts remain typically localized like Tea Parties during the Obama reign, or lately, this group of 600 business owners in a single city in California that challenged Dictator Newsom’s economy-killing orders by opening their businesses in defiance.

Conversely, the left in America, and every other nation plagued by their presence, actively strives to be centralized. Antifa and BLM have chapters all over the nation but there seems to be a single hierarchy calling the shots. They seek out positions of power like school boards and state agencies where their Marxist teachings can be applied with little resistance and cause the most damage.

But if there’s one thing consistent in American history, it’s that our government doesn’t fight well against decentralized forces. The 20-year war in Afghanistan is a current example. So, the good news — if you’re uncomfortable with the rise of agitprop teachings in the form of public school indoctrinations, church humiliation exercises and mandatory Critical Race Theory training in companies like Coca-Cola that just want you to “Try And Be Less White” — is that the bureaucracy that the left grows more and more dependent on, is extremely fragile. Ironically, the easiest way to break it is to heavily participate in it. Every hair from the boar.

The following tactics are presented purely for entertainment purposes, taken from various examples in former-communist nations. Obey all laws! You assume all risk if you choose to pursue any of them, which we don’t recommend.

  • There are subsidies for everything. Housing, clothing, food, electricity, hot water and home heating fuels, hell even cellphones and internet bills are picked up by Uncle Sam (thanks, Obama!) Even if you earn too much, the processing time for millions of new applications would drain the system even faster and demoralize government workers. Before you describe your pride to me, remember that illegal immigrants do not hesitate to take every advantage of our social services. The reason communism ultimately fails is because more is taken out than can be put in.
  • In most states in America, you can opt out of weekly tax withholding and choose to pay at the end of the year. This gives our government systems less funds to gamble with during the year. Only the financially savvy should attempt this.
  • Caught speeding or fined for not wearing a mask? Ask for a trial. Most citations have an option to plead not guilty and if you don’t pay it, you will either be given a court date or have it dropped all altogether. Extra points for utilizing a public defender. Worse case is you end up paying the ticket anyway, but at least you did your part to clog the system.
  • I don’t know of any places left in this country with well-kept roadways. That means if you’re unlucky enough to get a flat tire, because you totally, absolutely, maybe hit a pothole, you can sue the town. A few dollars to file a civil claim and you could end up on a new set of wheels and tires.
  • Remember the tax credits for electric vehicles? It’s based on the number of hours that a battery can hold its charge. That means your golf carts, ATVs, even the right child’s Fisher Price car modifications means that they can qualify for this break too. Just add turn signals, seat belts and mirrors.
  • Struggling for cash during the Covid lockdowns? Take a look around. Our benevolent governments have a ton of scrap metal that can easily be turned into some green. In the communist-Balkans, the impression of a utopian society was more important than a functioning one. Because a feature of communism is to spend money as incompetently as possible, bike racks, manhole covers, stop signs and park benches were constantly being installed at the same locations after locals would take them to junk yards. Of course, if they were caught, they were sentenced to a hard labor camp but in the U.S., if caught, it remains a larceny charge.
  • Spread panic. The government takes a lot of power away from you by using fear. You can take it back the same way. Rumors that the proverbial enemy is at the border will cause people to stock up on essentials and when there are shortages, even artificial ones, the government is forced to intervene.
  • Stop buying from companies that hate you. Sometimes it’s impossible either due to logistics or cost effectiveness, but for the most part, we really don’t need Netflix and Coca-Cola to maintain our daily lives. These companies have become extensions of the same institutions that are hellbent on seeing you destroyed just because of your political opinions; the least you can do is find a better way to spend your ten bucks a month.

Of course, the actual destruction of communist forces took widespread revolts and rebellions. But if we can make the cost more painful to our socialist overlords now, the long term goals can shift and the final outcome can change. Bureaucracy is the pillar our government uses to oppress us. Lucky for us it’s made out of glass and easy to bring down. Hiqja qimen thiut, comrades.

Taylor Day, American Thinker

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