President Obama, President Harris, Madame Speaker, members of Congress, the senator who was a Mormon, General. . . the guy who runs that outfit, Dr. Anthony Fauci, CEOs Zuckerberg, Dorsey and Bezos, his highness Bill Gates, and fellow Americans — I speak tonight on the state of the union and guess what, here’s the deal:
First, I want to recognize all those who took part in the most extensive system of voter fraud in American history. Without your hard work and dedication, Joe Biden would not be where he is today.
I also recognize those who entered the United States illegally because they are already Americans. So it’s only right that you vote in our elections. You will be needed in 2022 and 2024, so despite the pandemic, I will bring many more of you into the United States, so our nation is more unified with yours.
Any disunity in America is all due to Donald Trump, who put up a wall to keep you out. African Americans who voted for Trump should understand that, guess what, you ain’t black. Sorry, that’s just the way it is and I choose this truth over facts. Be sure and get it right next time, and remember, poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids.
Trump took us out of the World Health Organization, so I restored the ties, and the funding. The USA is now more unified with the WHO and its great leader Tedros. As I recognize, the WHO always knows what is best for the United States and all the nations of the world. Just kind of a simple thing.
I have also unified us more with China by giving President Xi Jinping a free hand with the Uighurs, in Hong Kong, and with Taiwan. As I recognize, the People’s Republic of China operates under different norms, so what they do is okay with me, even if it violates human rights and adversely affects the United States.
As I said on the campaign trail, the Chinese are “not bad folks” and “not competition for us.” On my watch, the United States will continue to fund the Wuhan Institute of Virology, whatever its role in the pandemic that has killed so many of us and wrecked our economy.
I mean, c’mon man, we will build back better. Everybody just kick back and make sure you have the record player on at night. That is very important in tough and dangerous times, at home and abroad.
In Syria, thanks to my administration, bombs are falling from the sky again and Iran is on the rise again. I hope to rejoin the Iran deal, to follow up on all that money President Obama wisely sent the mullahs. C’mon man, when the Iranian leaders say “death to America” they don’t really mean it. That takeover of our embassy, and all those hostages, that was a long time ago.
I was against Trump’s hit on Soleimani, and I assure you that on my watch nothing like that will ever happen. My focus will be on domestic terrorists. If you support Trump, you are a domestic terrorist and my administration will be coming after you. If you don’t like it, you are full of shit, just like that arrogant Michigan autoworker I put in his place.
My fellow Americans, I also want to deal with this conspiracy theory that I am a puppet of the far left and just a placeholder for President Harris. Nothing could be farther from the truth. It’s also a lie that I have any physical or mental difficulties. So guess what, I am in the best shape of my life, with no impairment whatsoever. Right now I’m just feeling a little bit tired, so here’s the deal.
I must remain in office to fulfill my campaign promise to raise your taxes. That promise is what got me elected, and in tough economic times, keeping taxes high is very important. I mean, do I look like a radical socialist? C’mon man, as I once told some American troops, clap for that, you stupid bastards.
Keep on choosing truth over facts. As Dr. Fauci says, remember to wear two masks, not just one. God bless America and good night.
* * *
Joe Biden avoided talking to the American people longer than any president in the last 100 years. And when he finally did, it wasn’t exactly worth waiting for. If you didn’t watch the 23 minutes of this White House’s revisionist history on the virus, count yourself lucky. It was an exercise in the dismal, partisan, hopeless rhetoric this administration was supposed to rise above. After more than 50 days of silence, all Joe Biden proved by coming out of the White House basement is that he’s a sore and ungracious winner, who isn’t above taking credit for the vaccine successes he inherited.
Naturally, that isn’t how the media saw it. In fact, their glowing reviews (“Biden projects hope”) were confusing to anyone who actually saw the speech. “If you hadn’t watched the president’s… address,” Christopher Bedford writes, “you might think it was something — anything — other than the most depressing, defeated, and resigned speech since President Jimmy Carter held the office. You might think he hadn’t devoted his third sentence to a baseless attack on his predecessor, and the entire rest of his address to death, sadness, loneliness, and despair.” Apparently, when Joe Biden promised darker days ahead, he meant it.
“A year ago,” Biden said, “we were hit with a virus that was met with silence, and spread unchecked. Denials for days, weeks, then months, that led to more deaths, more infections, more stress, and more loneliness.” It was meant to be an attack on his predecessor, which makes it all the more unbelievable. Anyone with half a brain remembers that it was Democrats, not Republicans, who ignored the warnings about the pandemic. So consumed by their impeachment of Donald Trump, they refused to even listen to Senator Tom Cotton (R-Ark.) sound the alarm in late January. And when the 45th president took bold action, closing down our borders to protect Americans, Biden wasn’t silent. He called Trump a “hysterical xenophobe,” accusing him of “irrational fearmongering” — when in fact, the administration’s quick thinking probably saved thousands of U.S. lives.
It was breathtakingly self-serving, as Biden tried to pretend the entire virus response plan was his own — when in fact, “the only thing that has really worked in this entire coronavirus pandemic,” Mollie Hemingway points out, “is developing the vaccine” — which was entirely done on Trump’s watch. The fact that Americans everywhere will soon have access to those shots is because of the last administration, who decided to cut the red tape that liberals love swimming in and create free market solutions. If Democrats had been in charge, we’d still be looking for a firm to develop the vaccine!
It’s also astounding, as several commentators have pointed out, that Biden is taking credit for a vaccine that he spent months disparaging! Now, suddenly, not only are the drugs a miraculous accomplishment — they’re his accomplishment. “Even the media acknowledges the Trump administration’s role in spearheading vaccine development and procurement,” former press secretary Kayleigh McEnany tweeted with side-by-side screenshots of ABC News and New York Times’s headlines, “but President Biden REFUSES to say the truth.” By the end of the night, he’d so overinflated his role in the vaccine that even the Washington Post called him out.
He pumped up his vaccine record “a little too much,” the Post said, arguing that his attempt to sell it as a Biden success story were “overstated.” The paper also took issue with the goals he set, quoting Biden: “You may recall, I set a goal that many of you said was kind of way over the top. I said I intended to get 100 million shots in people’s arms in my first hundred days in office. Tonight, I can say we’re not only going to meet that goal; we’re going to beat that goal.” As the Post reminds everyone, “When Biden came into office, there had already been several days of 1 million people being vaccinated — the daily number required to hit 100 million in 100 days. In other words, to hit the goal, he mostly just needed to keep things moving in the direction they were going… [C]asting this as some unthinkable feat goes too far and detracts from legitimate claims to success.”
As if that weren’t outrageous enough, the president spent the better portion of his speech telling his subjects that “maybe… we’ll let you celebrate” on July 4th if people continue to get vaccinated. How wonderful. Our benevolent overlords will let us out of our cells for a few hours on good behavior “if we do our part.” If we don’t, President Doomsday warns, “we may have to reinstate restrictions.” Well, unfortunately for the White House, it’s not up to the president whether Americans have barbeques. And this is July 4th we’re talking about — the day we’re supposed to be celebrating independence from tyrants.
And if Biden is such a cracker-jack problem solver where the virus is concerned, then why is he nominating a man with zero health care experience to head up our COVID response? On the one thing this administration can claim ownership of in the pandemic — HHS’s new leadership — they’ve offered up pro-abortion extremist, Xavier Becerra — confusing even hardline Democrats like Pramila Jayapal (Wash.). “I would have liked to see the HHS secretary have public health experience,” she said. Instead, Americans may be getting a lawyer, who’s only involvement in the medical field is suing Catholic hospitals over their First Amendment rights.
“I am hard-pressed to see any way such a radical and underqualified nominee should fill such a critical post at this crucial time,” Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) said. So are we. Help us stop it! Contact your senators and urge them to vote no on Joe Biden’s Secretary of Health and Inhumane Services!